A Good Deed for a Bad Man
I had to be at Canterbury Press before 5:00 today (actually by now it’s yesterday) to pick up some postcards I had printed up. Adverts for the business they are, but that’s not terribly pertinent. The point is that they close at 5:00, and I needed to be there before then.
I had some things to do at the apartment, but I left with ample time to get there. I walked the 3 blocks to my car, which naturally wouldn’t start. In a pinch I can *make* it start, but it involves wiring some stuff under the hood, and I didn’t feel like going through the trouble.
I had, as I said, ample time, so I started making the pleasant walk to MLK & University. For those that know Berkeley, my car was parked at Haste and Bowditch, so it’s about 15 blocks. But I had 30 minutes, which gave me about 10 to spare. I was nearly there– I’d made it to Shattuck and Allston. That’s about 5 blocks away. I passed a really, really old man in a wheelchair and he grunted at me. He’d been grunting at everyone else, and I probably should have ignored him as everyone else was doing, but I couldn’t bring myself to do so.
I thought he had said “gimme a buck,” but it sounded like “gimmeee umph” and just to be sure he was okay I went back and said “what?” to which he repeated “gimmmeee umpheghdh” which I eventually translated into “give me a push.”
“Well,” I said, “I can certainly do that.” So I pushed, but to no avail. He wasn’t budging. “Taggiff braaagh” he told me, which meant “take off the brakes.” Some more grunting allowed him to indicate where the brakes were, and off they came and I began to push. But how far was I to push? I was not quite sure what he wanted in terms of a push. And he certainly was not nice about it. He was grunting and swearing and berating me as I moved him down the sidewalk.
“Leeeeggooo” he said after about half a block. “Let go?” I inquired “yeegggh” he replied, which I took for “yes,” but I guess it wasn’t because when I let go he just drifted off in the direction of a signpost. I sort of stopped him, but he gave it a little bump, which prompted a whole new string of oaths from him. I couldn’t make it all out but “you almost killed me” was in there someplace. The gist of it was that he wanted me to push him for another block. 5:00 was drawing nearer, but what’s one block to help out this poor man, I thought, so I pressed on. One block later he stopped me. I thought we were “there” but he just wanted me to get him a cigarette from his bag. He lit it up, and we began moving anew.
Halfway down the next block he grunted some more, telling me to “stpppp ya basstuhhdd.” I stopped and asked if we had reached our destination, but no, he showed me that the sidewalk ahead looked a bit grimy, so I should be sure to steer around the dirty parts.
Soon we’d made 3 blocks, but he was ready for more. He told me to “cccrrosggsgsgs shuckk,” which I could now easily translate as “cross Shattuck.” But the light was red, so I waited. This prompted another string of curses that would make a drunken sailor blush. I told him the cars would hit us if we went against the light, but he just called me an asshole. I finally had to ask him, “do you accost strangers to give you rides on a daily basis, or do you have some alternate means of getting around?” That sent him on another flurry of cursing at me. He began adding “gimmmeee ouuddada sinnnn” to his orders, which meant I needed to make sure to stand so as to provide him with shade when we were waiting for signals to change.
At long last we made it to Haste an Shattuck, a solid six blocks from where I’d met him, not to mention six blocks in the direction opposite that which I was going.. Now he began the fun game of having me stop at every gate and try his key, just in case he lived there. Each time a gate wouldn’t open he’d curse at me and complain about the sun. On the third try, we found his gate and I got him in. I managed to get him to tell me his apartment number, and I pushed him home. Except, he was no longer sure he wanted to be home, for when I opened the door, turned on his light, put some bags on the counter, all per his instructions, he informed me he wanted me to take him for a walk.
By this time it was 4:56. As politely as I could I reminded him that I had a 5:00 appointment and I had to go. “Gwann ouddahere ya sumbitch” was his sweet goodbye, as I dashed away.
Naturally, I wasn’t able to make it by 5:00. And there you have the the story of my life, shrunk down into one afternoon’s adventure.
Today’s Question: Have you ever had a good deed for a stranger go awry?
Yes, always and all the time…from buying wine to watching someone’s kid, giving directions (even walked them there)…etc. etc. (but i probably have not done one that is as extended as this one that you did) eProps for Pea, eProps, eProps!!!!
Well aren’t you Lil Mister Boy Scout! You have altruistic tendencies, a rare trait that has fallen by the wayside lately. Personally, I help as much as possible even if my friends are giving me the eye. My bf is constantly asking me, “do you have to make friends everywhere you go?” Because I am always talking to complete strangers or offering help to them. I must say, though, I probably wouldn’t go as far as you did with that wheelchair-dude!!
sounds like you had a horrible day helping people out… man ! you should’ve given him a kick before you left…