Posts tagged: Sex

Typical Day

By , September 23, 2003

I have been surfing the blogosphere of late, trying to get a feel for how the other half lives. Now, I am not one for withholding the occasional tidbit of personal information, and I thought myself to be even rather forthcoming in that department. Hardly. Some of what I read on other blogs would make Hugh Hefner blush. Even more surprisingly, it is the female bloggers who feel the need to bare all. Masturbation, copulation– it’s all just out there for the world to see. Which lead me to the realization that I am not offering up enough of the juicy personal details. Shame on me! I shan’t make that mistake today. Hats off to Slinkk, who inspired this post with her tales of reckless masturbation and libidinous cravings.

So I woke up and I masturbated. Then I realized I’d brought a girl home last night, so I rolled over to wake her up for some sex. I guess she was already awake, because she was giving me a dirty glare. She didn’t seem to approve of my behavior. I sweet-talked her a bit, however, and it was on. We proceeded to have sex. It was the really good hot hot caliente kind of sex, too. Yeah!

She was wearing a red leather teddy. Just for kicks I put on my man-thong and did a little dance for her before I made our breakfast. The two eggs frying side-by-side reminded me of a bosom. I masturbated.

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful. I am cat-sitting for my friend Murgatroyd. He stopped by to drop the cat off, and all I could think was “cat = pussy” so I started to masturbate. Murgatroyd didn’t seem to approve, and he made a quick exit, cat in tow. I guess at least I won’t have to cat-sit, but man, talk about blue balls.

Luckily, my friend Blanche came over. Yeah, she has an old lady’s name, but that’s because she’s 92. She’s still pretty hot, and the whole cat-sitting incident had left me vulnerable to her charms, so I hit it. It wasn’t hot hot caliente. More like saggy bony, but beggars can’t be choosers.

The rest of the day is a blur. But now that I am composing it all into a blog it’s getting me hella turned on. Excuse me for cutting this post short, but I need to go masturbate. Laters.

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