I am currently remodeling the room in my apartment which I use for an office. One of the upgrades I have planned is to replace the carpeted floor with a hardwood floor. The first step in the process was to remove the carpet. Upon doing so, I discovered that beneath the carpet, some prior tenant had laid down faux hardwood linoleum tiles. I found that to be amusing, and began to chuckle at his feeble attempt to have hardwood, but I was stopped in mid-chuckle when I peeled away the linoleum.

Lo and behold, beneath the faux wood tile was a hardwood floor! In a positively Baudrillardian substitution, someone chose to cover an actual hardwood floor with a pretend hardwood floor. My feeling of superiority over the prior tenant rapidly shifted to one of inadequacy. He actually had hardwood, and purposely chose to hide it beneath a layer of faux hardwood linoleum. That takes confidence, and a steadfast commitment to one’s ideals and decorating philosophies. It is the interior decorating equivalent to sewing a Lacoste alligator onto a Prada shirt. Truly, this former tenant was a stalwart hero in the decorating realm.

Or maybe he was just a lunatic.

5 Responses to “Hardwood Linoleum”

1. Janetets says:

   February 10, 2005 at 3:31 pm

   Perhaps the real hardwood floor was too gross for him. If not, then just crazy. I love hardwood, tile, and stone.

2. Miss Judithann says:

   February 10, 2005 at 6:57 pm

   hardwood flooring!? Lo! Hark! Genius!

3. Elle Girl says:

   February 10, 2005 at 7:56 pm

   why in the world do u hide hardwood floor with fake hardwood floor?? it just doesn’t make sense to me! haha oh well. hope the remodeling is going well

4. joyceil says:

   February 11, 2005 at 8:42 am

   maybe there was a stain on the prada shirt.

5. badxmaru says:

   February 11, 2005 at 11:41 am

   It is the interior decorating equivalent to sewing a Lacoste alligator onto a Prada shirt.

   lol
   great line