Online v. Real Life
During the week, I work at home. The benefits of this are numerous, but one of the drawbacks is that I have no co-workers. As I have never had a regular nine to five job I don’t necessarily miss having workmates, but I do notice that my peers all have them. One thing that I do to simulate interpersonal interaction during my workday is AIM chat. I keep AIM running during the day, and every now and then a chat buddy will send me a message and we’ll converse a bit; this makes for a nice distraction. Some friends I chat with almost daily, others but once or twice per month, if that. In all, I have 19 people on my buddy list, 16 of which are friends I know in my day to day life. The other three are people I only know through AIM.
Yes, I know three “people from the internet.” And yes, I know there is a stigma attached to having met someone online. People even refer to it as “online” vs. “real life,” as though things you say or do in chat don’t count, or take place in some kind of netherworld. I don’t understand the distinction. Pretty much everyone is online these days. People who defend the distinction are quick to point out that someone can pretend to be someone else online, or only put forth their best side, but how is that different than what people do face to face? If you meet someone at a bar, library, cafe, park, or any other supposedly “safe” meeting place, who is to say they aren’t putting on an act for you? Furthermore, those same people are likely online. Are they safe to their in-person friends but dangerous to their chat buddies?
The reason I’m writing about this is because just the other night one of my three internet-only friends (who, by the way, initiated our online friendship) decided that, since we don’t know one another in “real life,” we should cease chatting. Now, I have no problem with someone telling me “Peasprout, you are boring,” or “Peasprout you are always lurking outside my window with a big axe” as valid reasons not to be chat friends, but come on– in this day and age, when both George W. Bush and John Kerry have Friendster accounts, I think it’s a given that most of the world is online.
I imagine you could see it coming a mile away, but here is Today’s Question: Do you think meeting someone online is just as viable, and respectable, a way of making a new friend as meeting someone in person? My answer is pretty clear, but I’ll spell it out. I think that the internet is a great way to meet and interact with countless people with whom you would never have had the chance to interact in the past. Blogging is a perfect example of a place where strangers from around the world can come into contact with one another, and friendships based on similar, or opposing, interests or beliefs can flourish. You’re shooting yourself in the foot if you limit your friends to people you only originally encounter in person. A great friend, or maybe even the love of your life, may never be at your favorite cafe at the same time as you, but he or she just may be in the next chat room over. You owe it to yourself to go take a peek.
In case the aforementioned chat buddy is reading this, I want to be sure to clarify that I am neither bitter nor bothered or anything along those lines. I understand and respect other people’s feelings; her announcement merely made for a good blog topic. Alfred Hitchcock would refer to her as the maguffin of today’s post.
Peasprout:
Hmm, maybe I will add you to my AOL list? I have always worked with people and customers, so I meet all sorts of interesting people. But because I am usually younger, it is hard to hang outside of work.
But I think I have one person on my AIM list I have not met that I talk to regularly. A the other few we have actually met and hung out once or twice.
Besides when insomnia strikes, since all my friends are East of CA, I cannot call them because it is really late. It it cool to jump on a chat network, hang out until you get tired, and if you make a connection with someone that’s great.
When I am online I am “me” Plus, I think its easier for people to be themselves because physical attraction/repulsion is not a factor. It is usually just the personality that attacts them for the long term.
Take care maybe I’ll see you on AOL sometime.
I think it is perfectly fine to meet people online. You are the most funnest! Even if you’re lurking outside my window with a big axe! ;D Muah!
Online is not reality. Any shrink will tell you so… wait I’m a shrink telling you so…
There are elements of reality… but the fact of the matter is… it’s not real.
Though I come across a lot better on screen, ask anyone.
sup, bball fan, ya want an autograph from da great damon stoudamire from portland, just come over to my xanga and i’ll give it to ya, yo!
@amandaness, Sounds like you want to be “chat buddy from the internet no. four!” But first– send your baked good to your bake sale buddy!
nothing wrong w/meeting ppl from online. i’ve made a bunch of friends that way (in real life from online meetings).
@Peasprout, hehe. i’ll be ok i think. i need the address of the person i’m supposed to send candy! it’s really yummy candy, it is. :D
mad cow props for utilization of “maguffin” in your post.
intresting site… im from cali too
Wow, great post!
@yaleelee, Oh hush, you long-lost maguffin, you.